By Helen Hignett When people think of a psychopath they naturally think of people like Christian Bale's character in American Psycho or the guy Anthony Hopkins played in Silence of the Lambs; the kind of person who goes on psychotic murdering sprees; when in fact, the guy we share a bed with every night could possess some of the same psychotic traits.
Your seemingly kind next door neighbor, your boss, or the cashier you see each morning when you buy coffee could all be holding in a dark secret. It could even be someone much closer to home. Have you ever felt like you were walking on eggshells? Do you feel like your significant other can be a little too charming?
Do you have this feeling that something is just slightly off? The signs may be there, you just need to know what they are. I have compiled a list of the 12 signs to look for if you think you might be dating a psychopath.
Jekyll and Mr. Hyde It seems like your partner is two completely different people; they can change in a split second for no reason. They will act one way with you but a different way when around your family and friends, and maybe a completely different way when around a boss, or strangers.
Psychopaths are experts at blending into whatever crowd they're around, like a chameleon. They can make anyone like them. When you first began dating, they were charming, sincere, everything seemed perfect, and they would say everything you'd want to hear. This is because they wanted you to believe in them when in reality they were really just setting their traps.
Now that they know you are dedicated to them, they are able to reveal more of their true selves without fear that you will run away. They can show their evil ways and feel they know how to manipulate you. They have a way of turning everything around on you.
You start to have little battles with yourself in your head, overreact, or start to second-guess yourself. Psychopaths like to confuse their partners and make it near impossible to have a logical argument.
Even when you are in the right, you will never feel that you are because they will manipulate everything you say. If you begin to question who you are and your values, you might be dating a psychopath. You start to think you are going crazy because you constantly doubt everything you do and say.
You might start to become paranoid about things like what kind of clothes you wear, what you say to friends, or if people are talking about you. Who you once were and felt comfortable being might be a fleeting idea. It's like you are talking to a brick wall. When they do choose to listen, your words are often taken out of context or used against you. If you said you would like to watch a romantic movie, your partner would try to convince you that you are silly for liking that type of movie, or if you told him you wanted to go out for dinner, your partner would try to make sure you do something they'd want to do instead.
You feel completely ignored and that your thoughts and opinions are not valid. In a loving relationship, partners are able to communicate effectively and respect what the other person has to say. This can include where they have been, who they were with, why they were there, and the like. Instead, they will twist your words and make you think you were the one in the wrong. Psychopaths will even lie to get you into a relationship with them by telling you they like and want the same things as you.
In reality, they don't like or want the same things as you at all. The only thing on their mind is the need to have control over you. A psychopath will lie in order to get what they want, and can even see it as a fun way to manipulate other people. You Feel Isolated and Alone You feel like you are walking on eggshells; the smallest things will make your partner lose their temper. If your friends ask you to come over or if your family asks you out to dinner, you're scared to tell your partner for fear of their reaction.
Your partner wants to know who you're friends with, making you feel guilty about spending time with them, and eventually you slowly start to spend less time with your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person left in your life. They learn about your vulnerabilities and weaknesses so they know where and how they can hurt you, and cause you more pain.
They make you feel alone, confused, scared, embarrassed, or worthless until you no longer have any confidence left in you. All of this is so they can make you feel isolated and lose all of your support, giving them more power and control. They have no remorse for their actions and they will manage to blame you for what they've done and make you feel bad for saying anything at all.
They do not respect your feelings and what you need in a relationship. If you caught your partner cheating, a psychopath may promise that it was a one-time thing and will never happen again. Despite this, no matter what they say it always seems to happen again and again. They continually make choices that hurt you without showing the slightest amount of care.
This is their way of manipulating you. The only thing they are sorry about is being caught. Their aim is to get you to sympathize and feel sorry for them. The reason they do this is to manipulate you in not leaving them despite their treatment and behavior towards you. This is a trap that most people fall into, however your own mental and physical health should be taking number one priority at all times.
You shouldn't try and help someone who is only tearing you down. They are not doing something nice out of the kindness of their heart, but rather to get something from you. Furthermore, if you do not reward or praise them they feel it's their entitlement to hurt you. If they have been hurt or dismissed in any way they feel it's their right to retaliate.
Do not feel that you need to follow them around praising them all the time. That is not normal for a relationship. It is a sign that they are trying to control how you feel about them at all times. They should want to do sweet things because they love you, not because they think they will gain something out of it.
They're attractive, funny, have a relaxed attitude, they can be charming, charismatic, and tend to make people feel special about themselves. Your friends and family are likely to find them to be a great match for you, and will also fall into the trap easily. Once you really get to know a psychopath, though, you will realize that this is all an act of arrogance. They think and act like they're the bees knees, the coolest, smartest person alive, and try to make everyone aware of it.
They will rub their successes in the faces of others, and put others down. They will tell you how amazing they are and tell you how "lucky you are to be with them. If they are always thinking they are better than everyone else, it might be a sign they are a psychopath. Do they get mad if you don't answer a call from them or if you come home later than planned? Do they get jealous if they see you talking to someone of the opposite sex?
And then accuse you of cheating? They constantly keep tabs on you, and will want to do things like go through your text message or social media even though you have never given them a reason to doubt your loyalty. Despite all this, your partner is allowed to do whatever they want, when they want to do it.
If you feel like you aren't allowed to question them, they have control over you. They are manipulating the relationship to be in their favor, and are practicing toxic habits. Things Don't Always Seem to Add Up When your partner tells you a story, some of the things they talk about never seem to add up. You don't feel like they are being totally honest with you or telling you the whole story.
If you say something they become angry with you, and accuse you of not trusting them. If you catch them in a lie, they'll just spit out another one to cover the last lie up. They will never apologize, and instead turn it on you.
You begin to do everything they say but they still find fault with you. You start to believe their lies and when, in their eyes, you do something wrong they punish you. If they cheat on you, they make you believe it's your fault for being "inadequate". Your Partner Hurts Animals A normal person treats people and animals with kindness and respect, regardless if they are a big fan of animals or not.
Has your partner hurt your cat or dog? Maybe they've kicked at your pet or threatened an animal? Do they show an overall dislike for animals in general? If so, it can be a red sign that they have some dark and disturbing thoughts. This is not normal behavior and is indicative of a mental issue. They might be having violent thoughts that they will one day act upon, regardless of who it may hurt.
Protect your animals if you are afraid your significant other could do further damage. If your significant other is showing these signs it is a huge red flag. They might be trying to control and manipulate you, without you even realizing it.
This is unhealthy and not a good environment for you to stay in. You will want to find a way to remain safe and secure while you leave the relationship, so turn to friends and family for help. You deserve someone who loves you and treats you with respect.
By Helen Hignett for DivorcedMoms. DivorcedMoms is the leading resource and community for divorced moms to connect, communicate, express their passion and thoughts, share experiences and find expert information and advice.
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Is your partner impulsive? Furthermore, if you do not reward or praise them they feel it's their entitlement to hurt you. What follows are 10 ways to identify a psychopath before they suck you in. But this is not very likely. If they cheat on you, they make you believe it's your fault for being "inadequate". He is smooth, and words rolls words out of his mouth, without even thinking. He can tell tales of terrible life threatening illnesses of those close to him who you have Signs you re dating a psychopath met, and most likely never would. They bombard you with telephone conversations, Signs you re dating a psychopath, texts, and he wants to see you every minute of every day. If your friends ask you to come over or if your family asks you out to dinner, you're scared to tell your partner for fear of their reaction. I have compiled a list of the 12 signs to look for if you think you might be dating a psychopath.
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