Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Dating rules for mormon

Dating rules for mormon

Dating rules for mormon


According to legend, if you follow their thirty rules for courtship and dating, the man you have always dreamed of will ask you out, woo you, treat you like the queen you are, and eventually propose. But only if you keep to their rules. Their very strict rules. And not the more archaic original. There are women who swear by The Rules. Others who laugh it off and mock it.


There are men who doubt its existence. Others who are oblivious to them. Men who despise them. And then there are the Southern women who just call it common sense. I can see the arguments from both sides. But lately I have wondered if The Rules really work for Mormon women in a singles ward?


Let me explain. In my mid-singles ward there is a consistent 3: Three women for every man. Three beautiful and talented women for every single man. And not all of those men are looking to date. Plain and simple, it can feel like a competition to get the attention of the good guys and get a date.


The women feel like they have no choice but to be proactive, invite the guys over, flaunt what they got, and make sure they are noticed and remembered. All of this goes against the teachings of The Rules.


Do The Rules apply or work for women in a singles ward where the ratio of women to men can be staggeringly not in their favor? Where just getting to talk in the hallway to a man can feel like a weekly competition? And Sunday dinners and taking a plate of brownies over to a guy you like is an expected commonplace occurrence? Or is it possible that The Rules are what we need to help spur more dating, and less hanging out and waiting for something better to come along?


In my current ward we have about people attending on an average Sunday. With 5 Sunday School classes, an overflowing sacrament meeting, 2 Relief Societies, and 2 Elders Quorums, it can feel like an Olympic event just to find your best friend to sit with.


Just two weeks ago I discovered that an old friend is in my ward. We go to different Sunday School classes and Relief Societies, and somehow, have been in the same ward for over a year, and had no idea.


We have honestly never seen each other in there before. You can meet a new person, have a fabulous conversation with them, and then it may be months before you spot the person at church again. So when The Rules suggest that a woman should never instigate a conversation, or angle herself into the seat beside his, invite him over first, etc. He may truly never see her in the crowd. The Argument in Favor of The Rules When you follow The Rules, you may get disappointed when nothing happens, but it also removes all of the endless wondering, and potential heartbreak.


For example, Girl sees Guy, conversation ensues. Girl invites Guy over for dinner with her roommate and a few friends. Every Sunday she makes it a point to talk to him, sit near but not too close to him, and repeats the same at family home evening, and Institute during the week. She conveniently got his phone number when she invited him over for dinner.


In her mind there are mixed messages all over the place. He texts her. They hang out together. They spend enough time together they were practically a couple. Obviously he likes her, they do everything together. They are great friends. How much more does she have to do to get him to ask her out or fall in love with her? This is where The Rules come in. If he was interested, he would have found a way to talk to her.


Just like she sought him out in the crowd, he could have sought her out. But would that happen in a women-dense population where the men expect the woman to flock to them, bake them treats, and invite them to parties? Yes, it could. Here is the upside for the women- the reason why you should put your baking pans away, and stop being the go-getter. With The Rules, you never have to wonder. Should men like The Rules? It may mean fewer free meals and few less plates of cookies for you, and more proactive dating, so why should men support The Rules?


Because when he calls and asks her out at least 3 days in advance, like a gentleman should , he knows she will say yes. Because he knows that a Rules Girl will show her appreciation when he treats her and her time with respect. Because it allows them to keep their dignity. And in a world of juvenile group dates where adult couples chase each other through grocery stores, and girls spend every last penny they have to throw a party just to talk to a guy who shows up with a different girl on his arm, we could all use a little more dignity.


I do believe there are many exceptions to The Rules. Some guys do require a little more nudging- but not every guy. And I do think there is room for a woman to instigate a conversation first in the competitive world singles ward meeting and dating. How else will he ever spot Waldo in the crowd? I welcome your opinion, feedback, or two cents.


If you disagree with The Rules, leave it in the comments below. If you love The Rules , please let us know why. If you want to write a rebuttal, send it to editorial meridianmagazine. Erin Ann McBride is a writer, dreamer, and single woman. By day she writes and by night she hunts unicorns.




Dating rules for mormon


Just two weeks ago I discovered that an old friend is in my ward. Eternal marriage means that Mormons believe that if we are married with proper Priesthood authority in a Mormon temple then God will honor our marriage not just on earth, but also after we die and are in Heaven. This is where The Rules come in. Some Mormons may choose not to develop a relationship to the point of calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, but others may see that as acceptable as long as it is kept within certain bounds. Dating rules for mormon can meet a new person, have a fabulous conversation with them, and then it may be months before you spot the person at church again. And I do think there is room for a woman to instigate a conversation first in the competitive world singles ward meeting and dating, Dating rules for mormon. There are men who doubt its existence. Three beautiful and talented women for every single man. With The Rules, Dating rules for mormon, you never have to wonder. They spend enough time together they were practically a couple.






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